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Bit of a Downer

No one really teaches you how down life can get you. They might mention it, tell you about times they had where they struggled and felt depressed; but you never really think it will happen to you.

 It does indeed happen, and often. Sometimes it's just a little bit of a letdown; that job that you wanted went to someone else. Or it's the dying of a potential dream; that house you wanted is unobtainable. Or, if you're really lucky, all of that happens at the same time as your SO is quitting smoking.

 Ouch.

 I had a pretty disheartening week a little while ago. A temporary posting that would have allowed me to walk to work and save a lot of money went to someone else suddenly. I also love working at that location, so the effect was doubled. And my research into possibly getting a tiny home in my area to counteract the high rent prices revealed that my whole region is not friendly toward this small movement. Crushing.

 The tiny home discovery came because someone was selling their perfectly suitable tiny home for $18,500, which I could have put down for right away. But, alas, there is no place to plunk it. This all happened in a three day period, just as my poor guy decided he was quitting smoking.

 He used to smoke years ago, before we were together, and then used e-cigarettes to wean himself down, then quit. After his separation from his ex-wife, he began smoking cigarettes again, and again, weaned himself down to e-cigs. He's been using the e-cigs for a while now, lowering his nicotine intake until it was as low as could go. Suddenly, he just decided he was done. He was sick of it, sick of being tied to it, and it was time. That was how he did things; now or never.

 A week after he decided to quit was when the reports of e-cigs leading to life-threatening health conditions started hitting the news. So we are both glad that he's managed to kick that habit. However, if you have never experienced someone quitting smoking, you are living with someone who can instantly transition to an enraged 4-year-old with the slightest glance. Poor guy, the first few weeks were really hard, but we've passed over that.

 So here I was, dealing with my heart-break over the job and the house, with a man going through withdrawal. It was tough. I reached out to the ChooseFI group on Facebook to get a little cheer-leading squad going, and everyone was very supportive. It was the nudge I needed to stop feeling sorry that things didn't work out the perfect way that I would have liked them to.

 On my horizon now is attempting to become a freelance writer, an idea I have played with for years but always been too cowardly to attempt to pursue; also another possible temp that would allow me to either bus to work, or drive a very short distance.

 I will not be disenfranchised from my dreams, and will endeavor evermore!
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